I know, I know. This stupid blog hasn't been updated in forever. I keep starting entries and abandoning them midway through. Either they're boring, or not funny enough, or whiny, or - you get the picture. But if I don't just write and publish I'll never achieve a vast catalogue of blog greatness. Let the lowering of standards begin!
So GET THIS. My ex husband and I are still not formally divorced because we've been bickering about money forfuckingever. We've been separated for FOUR years now. That's as long as we were married! The matrimonial home has been the focus of our half-hearted dispute. J and I currently live in it, and pay the mortgage each month as rent. We toyed with the idea of taking it over for awhile, but it needs too much work and frankly? I want to rent somewhere else. Different neighbourhood, new place etc. I know it sounds a bit incestuous, us living here but the ex husband lives three hours away from Glasgow and it just sort of worked out easier for me to stay based here, with kids and all the attendant needs for security they tend to have.
ANYWAY. I had a recent conversation with Ex, and APPARENTLY he wants to sell the property. I was all "Ok! Good for you! What does this have to do with me?" because I knew he'd have something up his sleeve. Because he lives so far away, he says he can't oversee the various cosmetic and structural repairs the place requires, and are we in any hurry to move? I told him we had no immediate plans to vacate, and I'd be happy to make sure things get done properly. BUT THAT WASN'T ALL. He went on to explain that because he's taken all the marital debt (loans he took out in his own name whilst we were married, my lawyer mercilessly pointed out, have nothing, in theory, to do with me) he doesn't have a lot of disposable income, so would J mind doing the various jobs FOR FREE? Ugh.
In a nutshell, he won't grant a divorce until the property is sold (and therefore the financial issues are resolved) and in order to sell it, it requires a lot of work which he can't afford (apparently), so either we drag this out yet longer, or J gets treated like some turn-of-the-century Irish labourer, working for free. This is some bullshit! So is that last run-on sentence!
He is not plagued with the notion of being a nice guy, and he knows I am. Let's be clear, I am not legally bound to help him in any way as regards a property that is mortgaged solely under his name. I could go to my lawyer and have him petition the courts on my behalf blah blah. But he CAN drag things on and really? If it means we spend a few weekends painting and plastering, in the interest of tying up these endless loose ends into a giant Gordian Knot of Divorce, maybe it's worth it?
Shit. I just want this DONE, you know? I haven't mentioned any of this to J yet, because I haven't decided whether or not to tell Ex to bugger off with his princely sense of entitlement. Decisions, decisions!
Next post: my upcoming trip to Ireland, which involves a trip to a pilgrimage site where the Blessed Virgin appeared. What have I got myself into?
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